Bullying
Bullying is a common and deeply wounding experience for many LGBTQIA+ people, often beginning long before you have the language to describe your identity. It can be overt and aggressive, or subtle and insidious. Either way, it leaves a mark. Bullying doesn’t just affect your confidence in the moment it can also shape how you see yourself, how safe you feel in the world, and how you relate to others well into adulthood.
How bullying shows up in childhood and adolescence
For many queer people, bullying begins with being perceived as “different.” You might have been targeted for your voice, your interests, your mannerisms, your friendships, or simply because others sensed something they couldn’t name.
Common experiences include
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Being teased, mocked, or humiliated for how you looked or acted.
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Having rumours spread about your sexuality or gender before you were ready to talk about it.
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Being excluded from groups, games, or social circles.
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Feeling unsafe in school hallways, locker rooms, or classrooms.
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Learning to shrink yourself, stay quiet, or avoid attention to reduce the risk of being targeted.
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These experiences often happen during the years when identity, belonging, and self-worth are still forming, which can make their impact especially powerful.
The long-term impact of bullying
Bullying doesn’t end when school does. Its effects can echo into adulthood in ways that sometimes feel confusing or stronger than you expect.
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You might notice:
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Anxiety in social situations because your body still expects judgment or ridicule.
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Difficulty trusting others or letting people get close.
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Hypervigilance, where you find yourself scanning for signs that someone is laughing at you, criticising you, or about to turn on you.
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A tendency to overperform, overachieve, or people-please to avoid rejection.
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Shame about your body, your voice, your identity, or your desires.
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These reactions aren’t weaknesses. They’re learned survival strategies, ways your younger self protected you in environments that didn’t feel safe.
Bullying and minority stress
For queer people, bullying often sits alongside other forms of minority stress. You may have been navigating stigma at home, in your community, or in the media at the same time you were dealing with harassment at school. This layering of stress can intensify the emotional impact, making it harder to feel safe, confident, or grounded even years later.
Healing from bullying in therapy
Therapy offers a space to understand how bullying shaped your beliefs about yourself and others.
In therapy we might explore:
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The protective strategies you developed to survive.
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The parts of you that still expect rejection or ridicule.
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The shame or self-criticism that took root during those years.
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The strengths you built, including resilience, empathy, creativity, or humour, often in spite of what you endured.
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Over time, you can begin to rewrite the internal narratives that bullying created. The aim is to help you see yourself with more compassion rather than criticism, and to build relationships where you feel safe, valued, and able to be yourself.